So, This Happened to Me...

In 2010 I had a job interview for a designer position with a company called Iconix Brand Group, Inc. The interview went Ok, I met with the Sr. Art Director and then her boss. The Sr AD seemed like she'd be someone who would be hard to work with, but her boss seemed really friendly, talkative and made me think a job with this company would be great. When the interviews were over the Sr AD said there would be a "design test" waiting for me in my inbox and to have it done by the morning of the next day. The test was to come up with a concept for the next Candie's shoe ad. I would have to come up with all copy (be a copywriter), the images (be a photographer), and of course design the whole thing (what I'd actually be doing if I got the job). The second part of the design test was to create an updated look for several webpages for Ocean Pacific. I thought about these "tests" (one print/one web) and how I'd be creating a lot of content for this company for upcoming real life projects, you know, giving them ideas and designs that they could just run with and I would not get the job or credit for. Like, an "all that work for nothing situation," like something out of Working Girl or countless other movies or TV show episodes. I kept thinking about it, the circumstances really worried me, so much so that I contacted my mother, a close girl friend who worked at a big ad agency, and the recruiter who got me the interview. Mostly everyone said, "Just do it, don't worry, blatant stealing like that doesn't really happen IRL."
Well...
is this just a coincidence?

Here is my June 2010 sample that I emailed them:
(Oh yeah, and I didn't get the job. Actually, they never got back to me.
I had to prod my recruiter several times to get an answer.)

And this is their curent Candie's spokesperson:

I also sent them something extra, another idea for a spokesperson...

I photoshopped her shoes into platforms, hah, I forgot I did that. I wish Candie's actually made shoes like that. I forgot that Candie's has a slutty image that appeals to no one and is not relevant at all. I wanted to make the brand better, cooler, more responsible and meaningful, like give them a point for being and actually be good for young women.
So, I just went back and found the old emails:

(from them)
Test project:
Design a home page or splash page and 1 secondary page for op.com Fall website based off the concept new vintage/movie night.
Design a 1 Candie’s National Ad for spring...concept and celebrity is open.

Candies is fun, young, flirty and usually has the top female music celebrity.
Op is cool california ...vans/roxy/billabong

Please complete this and send to Rebecca by Friday morning at the latest.

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(to them) I actually sent this at 5pm the night before the day it was due (ahead of time).
Hi Rebecca!

How are you?

Attached are the creative project items in a zipped file. For Candie's I did two different ads, one celebrity is more on-brand, Lea Michele from Glee. The other celebrity is another up-and-coming young singer with loads of style who I think is awesome and had a Gap TV spot two years ago, Janelle Monae.

Thanks!

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(I didn't hear anything for two weeks so I contacted my recruiter)
Hi Jocelyn,

How are you?

I was wondering if you've heard any new developments concerning the Iconix Brand Group designer position?

Thanks!

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(a week later I get this response from her)
I apologize for the delay. I have been out on vacation. While I was gone Iconix offered the position to another Designer. They liked your work but felt this person had an aesthetic sensibility that was more closely aligned with theirs.

I’ll definitely keep you in mind for others.

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(I forwarded that to my mom and got this response)
So sorry to learn that another company has yet again made a huge mistake. I know you would have done well there. Well, there must be something better waiting for you out there. I would still question about what happens to the free work you did for that company...

Also, seems odd that the headhunter did not have the professionalism to contact you, even if she was on vacation. What does "aesthetic sensibility" mean anyway?

Hang in there. Put out more feelers. Find more contacts. Sometimes it takes a lot of searching to find the right fit.

(personal family stuff paragraph that was in the original email which I took out for this)

Thanks for letting me know about the job. I really hope and believe that things will turn around for you soon.

Love you,
Mom

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Best. Mom. Ever.

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Also, I noticed that two months after all of this, the same job was available again through the recruiter. So, either they hired someone and it didn't work out, OR there was never a position and this is how Iconix goes about finding inspiration and new ideas – by using chumps like me.

I have another job now, a much better job, so I can look back on all this and laugh and not feel sad. But right after I didn't get the job I felt like shit, and then I re-felt like shit when I saw the Lea Michelle ads. (As a sidenote: I'm pretty sure I would've punched a hundred kittens if I saw ads all over the city featuring Janelle Monae in saddle shoe platforms. Then, after I was finished sobbing for a week and complaining to my friends how life isn't fair, I would've gone out and bought some saddle shoe platforms.)

Another gay dude with his cat, Another planet

Found another cat site called boyswithbeardswithcats, aka, gay guys with beards with cats.

Seems there is never enough space on the internet for cute and boy and cat to come together in some sort of cock pussy tease for us all whether you're gay or straight. Each photo is at war with itself (or at least in my head) of dueling hot guy/cute cat vs never gonna get this/cat you will never pet. Add in beards, tattoos, the littlest kittens mid-mew, moody glances, low-lighting, shiny coats, shy smiles, hamburger faces, and sleeping...there's just too much torture to go around. Add this site to the many that have come before it.

http://cuteboyswithcats.net/
http://hotguyswithcats.tumblr.com/
http://boysandcats.tumblr.com/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/catandboy/
and so on...

I thought the Super Bowl halftime show was fine, speaking of...

The theme for last month's Fake Criterions was Double Threats: Musicians who try to act. I thought Desperately Seeking Susan with Madonna would be a great one. I am very obsessed with Madonna's boots in this movie youhavenoidea. I really wanted to use this photo for the cover in some way cos the boots are so prominent.

I also really like this photo, it features the earrings which were the major plot point of the movie, but her elbow is cut off and therefore it's limiting to the layout I wanted to do.

So instead I used an image of one of my biggest memories I have of this movie...

This one though, is actually the first idea I came up with that screams "Criterion".

While I was looking up images to use, I found this one of a blouse she wore in the movie that went for like ten grand at some auction. Good grief. Like, where is this top now? Is someone wearing it? Is it hanging in a special garment bag in a closet among other celebrity items that a collector is hoarding? I would wear this top now, I wish H&M would copy it...along with those rhinestone boots.

Ugh, the video is flipped horizontally on youtube for some reason...anyway, I must have seen this video a million times on MTV.

Can't Hug Every Cat

There are two kinds of cat ladies NYC can turn you into:

This:



Or this gem:


With me it could either way.

Fact: Having a 9-5 job leaves no time for blogging

I got all this for $37. From a shop in Brooklyn. I know. I was only in there for about 20 minutes and didn't even dig around. It's like I stepped into a Twilight Zone episode, either the records are crawling with bed bugs or that Elie Tahari Chanel-ish knock-off jacket (with tags still attached) is haunted — or I wake up and it's all been a 1940s WWII experiment by the government. Anyway, it's Life Thrift on 5th Ave.

And Fis loves the giant bag. Win-win.

Fis Doesn't Care for Dungeons and/or Dragons

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's terrorizing Fisby with a bendy rubber Deadly Grell.

Today I am held up in my apt spackling and painting a room and in need human interaction. Instead, I am watching Netflix Instantly, downloading other media in not the most honorable fashion, snacking, and ignoring every other thing that is weighing down on me at the moment. Also, there's the filming of my cat reacting to D&D toys.



Speaking of D&D, Patton Oswalt is one of the quest writers on Rookie today along with Joss Whedon, Dan Savage, Fred Armisen, another rad person, some other rad person, Winnie Holzman, and more - check it out. Name drop city!

Slowly Becoming All Cats Now

It gets better with the Translation. And OMG the cat with the printer translation...



These are like something out of Animals Being Dicks.

Ummm...

+

=

Nice Header, Looks Like Ice Cream Soup

Slightly tempted to start following them on twitter anyway...

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Got a shout-out from the Cinematic Titanic facebook page – whut whut!

FLD

First LOL of the Day

Obsessed

Chu-Chu on the INTERNET

Fisby got a shout-out on the Julie Klausner podcast and then was featured on her blog! The latest episode features Paul F. Tompkins - another funny person with a podcast. He was also the guest on the most recent episode of the How Did This Get Made podcast where they talked about the Smurfs movie. First off, I have tickets to his sold-out show at the Bell House that I had to get a million months back cos I knew it would sell out. Next off, for the 9-5 job I had to design this online thing (that is as detailed as I'm getting, until like, the next sentence) for that Smurf movie in which I paid $2 to buy a Photoshop filter that looked like the texture of 3D white marshmallows to replicate the look of their little hats and pants. I could've made this filter myself, but only had a day to basically create a mini-website situation. Anyway, Smurfs is a movie. I'd never watch it. I do remember watching the cartoon as a kid and I hated it when the other smurfs would catapult Brainy Smurf into the woods cos he was "too smart". This always happened around the end of the episode when one was left with the parting impression that being smart was not cool and no one will ever love you. Everytime, he would land upside down on his head by the same tree/bushes configuration with his glasses askew or cracked or something. Ugh, smurfy.

Fis has also been having fun and snacking on grass in her fire-escape-garden-backyard when it's not raining too hard.

Here she is hiding/bird-watching/neighbor-cat-spying, you can barely see her tail resting above the top right of the middle orange planter next to the solar light meant for a real yard.

She peeked-out when I called her name.

Oh, Etsy

But I DO love you!

from here

Black Moon

Finally came out on DVD for MY REGION yesterday - and it's Criterion! AND the cover is beautiful!

When I had cable TV in a time before antennas were useless, Cinemax showed this one night and I watched it having no idea what it was. ALLEGEDLY I have a problem with TV where I will lay there for hours watching whatever is on and flip around the channels during commercials searching for something better until I fall asleep ignoring everything else in real life, all pre-Tivo style. But this movie stuck with me for days afterwards. It's one of those movies where you think, "I'm watching a movie of a dream I had - or will have" and I am Ok with that. I love it. IT'S MINE. I still rarely meet anyone who has seen it or gives a rat's ass about seeing it / talking about it / listening to me prattle on about it. Here's the thing, I think it's one of those movies where if you stumble upon it by mistake knowing nothing about it, no hype, no expectations, it's the raddest thing ever. BUT if someone is all, YOUHAVETOSEETHIS, then afterwards you're like, "eh, it was Ok...I guess." I remember that happening to me with The Forbidden Zone.

A few Halloweens after I saw Black Moon I debated dressing up as Rex Harrison's daughter's character in the movie. Then, I was like, it's a rust-colored orangey-brown skirt, a white button-up cotton blouse, and a light pink sweater - I'm pretty sure I can wear this all the time and it's no big deal. After all these years, I still cannot find a non-itchy, non-Acrylic pink sweater or that elusive rust-colored skirt that isn't too A-line or suede or wide wale corduroy. It's great how movies can still inspire fashion. I read a few books years ago about fashion designers for Hollywood movies and how influential they were. Edith Head wrote a great one that was also gossipy. My number one takeaway from the book was that Bette Davis never liked wearing bras and had long, big boobz so dresses and neck lines had to be cut special as to not make her bewbs look weird. Now about books, the sad thing is, when you check-out art books from the library, they are usually trashed and the pages that have images on them are suddenly not present. I'm like, where is that photo of the ostrich feather gold inlay gown with the 10 foot train from that obscure, lost 1920s silent film no one will ever see again? Ohhh, right, someone ripped that page out cos they're shitheads and don't believe in Xerox or are from the future just to steer my anger into yet another cauldron of hate.

Anyway, more about Black Moon, it's by Louis Malle, made in the 70s, filmed at some French estate - maybe his?, no plot - make your own kind of thing but not a complete Marienbad, talking animals milling about, donkey with unicorn horn glued to head, men vs women war going on, British accents, annoying old lady, young guy that sorta looks like the young guy from Suspiria, big glasses of milk, a weird sister/bro thing happening, naked kids running around, not much dialogue, kids in make-up at the end, piano playing, bugs, moss, etc... then it just ends and you're like, Ok, fine, whatever. But then you think about it for days afterward. That dream world gets stuck in your head. You want your own French estate in which to traipse around and chase unicorned donkeys...

And I live in a wonderful city where I could've roderidden my bike (pretending it's a unicorned donkey) to see this movie for free (christsakes) at this newish arthouse/food situation in DUMBO called ReRun (yet another new arthouse movie FILM theater THEATRE). This city wears people down in new and exciting ways in exchange for such awesome opportunities as this, yet I did not take advantage. Still, knowing it happened, and that future rad stuff will be happening, makes it seem in my head that I am less of a lazy bundle of my cat's freshly trimmed hair.

Oh yeah! And I can finally get rid of my less than awesome AVI file of Black Moon that I downloaded from magic town internet system land that has a German man voice dubbing all the voices with simultaneous Spanish subtitles at the bottom. Yaaaaaay!

Summer

Saw the movie, La Rayon vert, this weekend at BAM.



Not sure how I feel about relating to a character so much, or hating that I relate to a character so much. It's was like watching Bridesmaids, and relating to Kristen Wiig's character all over again. When you see your own weaknesses, your own character flaws displayed on the big screen, it's like someone read your diary out loud and you're like, "Arrrgh! Now everyone knows I keep a diary!"

Anyway, Eric Rohmer had the colors red and green playing off each other in this movie, and it was perfect. I love LOVE movies where close attention is paid to details like that and meaning is given to things no one is consciously noticing, but also has dialogue that seems loose and real without coming off as obvious improv. It gives the whole thing a genuine spontaneous feel so that you're not overly aware that you're watching a movie. When I see this, I think – masterpiece.

Things I didn't care for that I had no control over: the audience reaction of smug chortling at the high-waisted tight pants on the French men of the mid-eighties and also laughing at the female character finding lone playing cards on the ground in a "I've seen this plot point before in some other movie" way.

Unit Shredders

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From fakebands.com
Unit Shredders, The - From the TV show Roseanne (11/25/95). A riot grrl band mentioned in the "The Getaway, Almost" episode. Midway through a roadtrip to an outlet mall, Roseanne and Jackie pick up a hitchhiker (Jenna Elfman) who is in the band. The Unit Shredders' riotous grrlishness may be a matter for debate, though. First off, they are several years late to the riot grrl party (mainstays Heavens to Betsy, Bratmobile, and Huggy Bear were already broken up). Plus, Elfman (who is comically credited as "teenager" in the episode) would have been 25 when the show aired. Perhaps The Unit Shredders could have claimed to have been riot wmmmen. Though it was kind of cool that they played a clip of Bikini Kill on a prime-time show.
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You know how you want to like something, but then the medium gets it wrong. Fine example. To make that female character come off like this clueless, gum-chopping, unaware, man-hating idiot is insulting. It's almost like Roseanne and her writers were secretly jealous that they weren't a part of a "revolution". While association seems cool or whatever by talking about it on mainstream TV, they showed it in this bad light and the overall take-away is not ideal. It feels like a women vs girls thing initially with Roseanne and her sister feeling above what the younger generation are doing. Then they start to feel left out. And it's that feeling of being left out that makes them act out. I don't like that message. Then the argument is, "you should be grateful that Bikini Kill was even mentioned in a mainstream show". No, I shouldn't. And that is what needs to change. Overall there is this weird focus on man hate and it's not about that either. It's about strength and doing what you want.
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Genius use of tumblr.

I think you're grand

Had to stop the May Shoe Experiment. First off, May is over, but it's not like not finishing something or changing the rules ever stopped me before. Thought about changing it to Shoe Vs Foot since every other pair of shoes ripped up my feet. I found a solution: socks. As long as the shoe is not a heeled slingback, I'm good with wearing socks and walking a lot.

Right now my feet are hell meat of scabs and blisters from this one pair of demon spawns, and I feel like an idiot for liking neato-looking shoes. But whatever, SOCKS TO THE RESCUE.

So, I'm on Sock Dreams, and I see this...

And it makes me hate socks. There is no need for socks to be this complicated. I do, however, like the Wizard of Oz socks.

But I am against Frances Ethel Gumm being 16 and on speed and benzos for the making of that movie back in the late 30s.

Don't want to end on a down note of a drugged-up Dorothy... so, I love this song and the chorus gets stuck in my head every time I get a little boy crazy.

bf/gf

If they mated:

What is Britney doing right now?

Just rewatched this old footage of Britney Spears. That guy she was with was such a scrot. He reminds me of my first bf. The part where she says she feels she's missing out – she was missing out. And she thought having kids and a husband would make everything Ok in her life. I still wish I could spend one week with Britney Spears, like have her secretly hang out with me in a disguise and stay at my apt and then spontaneously run around BK and fuck shit up. I'd be like, "read these blogs daily, listen to these bands, check out this art, keep a daily journal, etc... NOW go and make your next album on YOUR terms and write the lyrics and music and do your own thing and express how you REALLY feel as a woman who has been there and done that in our society. You have this power to change things for the better. YOU. DON'T. NEED. A. GUY."



Anyway, why did she want to see Spun? That movie is/was so bad. It had a million people in it and I couldn't wait until it was over. Why do actors love playing drug addicts? It's so boring; and you could tell everyone involved was thinking, "We're so shocking and edgy, we're going to blow minds." All I remember while watching it, is that I cried out of embarrassment for everyone involved.



Also, when did Youtube start showing vaginas without people freaking out?

Hi chief, are you a 10?

If I had a bf... I would snatch this t-shirt up and force him to wear it so that everytime someone saw him they'd hear Steve Martin's voice in their head...



...ugh, hopefully they would not hear the cringe-worthy humor of "swinging" water balloon boobs on a man in drag, or Death saying, "this sketch is done to Me!"

Sunday Movie Time

Seeing this tomorrow. I love you, Moss.

Portrait of a Woman

Last month's theme for Fake Criterions was "a movie within a movie"

There weren't any lady ones really, so I thought about the "film for television" that was being made throughout another film – interspliced* perfectly with the controversial scenes of Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando in Last Tango in Paris.

The name of of the boring, trite, unromantic TV movie is Portrait of a Girl, and it was filmed by the fiancé/filmmaker of Maria's character. Cos of this I added a lot of fluffy, dated ornamental stuff around the Bookman "every 70s TV show" Swash typeface which was the same used for the Last Tango cover.

The image I used is a movie still I took of the DVD that was magically created with the free image capture programz, Jing. The still is one where the camera crew and the fiancé were shooting her and she's literally holding up a "portrait of a girl". The layout is broken up horizontally: 1/4 - 1/2 - 1/3. Her eyes are amazing.

Maria Schneider died this year and the media makes it out like she died a sad and lonely foreign lesbian who was forever scarred by her Last Tango scenes and, as a result, was never able to shake her perception as a slutactress or had any fun.

I doubt this highly.

  {Eva Ionesco, Edwige Belmore, Maria Schneider}

*you can be a word if you want to

AWESOME!

Just ordered something of Etsy and I noticed that I had two neutral feedbacks – still stuck on this "I hate dealing with giving and receiving feedback on Etsy" thing and completely unaware of there being a second blah feedback left, I went to check it out. Seriously, this woman was a Big C – I remember her. There was a lot of emailing back and forth and I was about to say, NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THESE SHOES I CAN TELL YOU ARE TROUBLESOME!

Cos who leaves a book of feedback like this? Doesn't Etsy have some sort of character limit? Anyway, beholden...

I measure every item every which way. These shoes had the measurements listed and this woman wanted me to measure again, so I did (cos it must suck to have weirdly-shaped feet) and it came out the same width. "This source" says narrow shoes, dude.

I love selling stuff to strangers, taking the time to package everything up nicely, tying bows, writing a lil' note, putting on the stamp logo stickers, writing on the packages to places overseas like Russia and China... but please, I don't ever want to publicly hear from you except for a Thank You. If something goes wrong, you send a private note to work it out like a normal person, and I've taken returns in the past if something didn't fit.

Cos it comes down to this: no one gives a pizza fart about feedback unless every other one is negative – and often the person giving the negative feedback looks like a nutbag. Still, it's annoying. I would never give neutral or negative feedback to someone. They would have to have shit a Greek salad into the box instead of mailing me my BoHo LaCe ViNtAgE Onesie LeoPaRd UniTaRd InDiE Dress XXS.

My Naked Body Is Obscene

This kind of thinking is expected and accepted in our American society and we're just letting it happen like it's no big deal with views like this being spouted about – and on a women's blog. I love that Rebecca Watson calls out the Jezebel.com writer on her TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT of BnN covering up this photo of Australian male model, Andrej Pejic, styled as a woman on the cover of Brooklyn's Dossier magazine.

Why U No Like Sour?

I live in a world where it's not polite or right for me to act on my gut feeling, though when I get to do that it's the most amazing feeling. So, I was just refunding some shipping on Etsy, answering an email about a listing, and renewing some expired listings when I decided to check the feedback. I dreaded doing this when I had an eBay shop and I dread it now with Etsy... and so I find this little gem waiting for me:

shipping was slow (2 wks from brooklyn to baltimore) and the price from the thrift store was still written on the bottom (kind of leaves a sour taste :/ ) but i LOVE the shoes; they are just perfect. 

"they are just perfect" doesn't make up for you being a shithead.

If I ever mail out a package that is late, WHICH IS RARE, I put in a free gift and apologize like a normal human being.

But anyway, I wanted to send this message below, but I didn't. Why continue flinging their monkey shit back at them? What good would this do? It would only justify their passive aggressiveness towards me in that complaint city testimonial they felt they had to leave to teach me (and anyone that wants to shop at my store) a lesson or whatever. Gah, some people...

Hey, just to clarify, I bought those shoes on Etsy a while back and they had the price on them from that seller - http://www.etsy.com/transaction/14418952 - big fucking deal. And SO WHAT, we all buy stuff from thrift stores, estate sales, yard sales, find stuff in grandma's attic, for next to nothing or for free. IT HAPPENS. I KNOW YOU DO IT TOO FOR YOUR SHOP. Your message was shitty and unnecessary and by doing that, you are what makes Etsy and eBay shitty. I hope this message I am sending you creates a sinking feeling in your chest like your feedback did to mine. And I sent your package out on May 1st, I have no idea what held it up with the post office - check the Priority Mail shipping tracker for proof - did you even bother to do that? I swear, people like you... you get awesome things for next to nothing, and then you nit pick and complain. I can't imagine being you or having to be around you. But I do know this, I am sick of sitting by and letting people like you get away with this kind of bullshit.

It just felt good enough to write it out, to get it out. Now I can move on. But seriously, I am totally prepared to start calling people out on their bullshit. (And maybe prepared for their heated responses?? I AM NOT READY FOR THEIR HEATED RESPONSES.)

I am the best friend you wished you had,
that helped you be a better person by making you rad.
And this seller lives in Baltimore, now I feel bad,
Cos their life must really be sad.